Vid 19

‘You’re both right,’ I said with a light-hearted glow, ‘there is no point is there. If I live the rest of my life with Steve on my shoulder I’ll never meet anyone else.’ Then sadness hit me, ‘But what about us?’ He held my hands again and looked me in the eye. ‘The decision is yours isn’t it. I don’t want to lose you.’ Then he looked upwards, ‘Oh that doesn’t sound right. Look, oh I don’t know how to say this. Lena, help please.’ I was unusual for him to be lost for words so I knew that he was. After a while I looked her in the eye and said“Maybe you just dated the wrong guys. We’re not all like that… I’m certainly not that way”. She returned my gaze for a moment, then looked shyly away and said “No, I didn’t think you would be. . I’ve watched you for a long time but was always afraid to show any sign of interest. I haven’t had a date in years, and I don’t know how to act with men any more”. For the moment I had no thought of sex; I was caught up in pure romance. Her next question put. “We’re just along for the ride, Art”, Elaine chimed in. I think she was looking forward to strutting her stuff to the Commander and his staff.“Are you comfortable with your role as spokesman, Harvey?”“Yes, Art. When you first proposed it, I did not expect that it would work as seamlessly as it has. It is almost as if you are able to control my vocal cords without my having to listen and repeat what I hear.”“Yes, Harvey. That is a good description of the process. Are you ready?”“Absolutely! Say!. She held my hand longer than was needed for shaking and asked, “Are you feeling better?” She really didn’t seem angry. She seemed genuinely concerned about what was bothering me.That morbid, self-loathing part of my mind had expected her to use the quiet and the distraction of the spokeswoman to make her accusation and possible threat, and another part of my mind thought she might not want to make a scene among so many strangers and would wait until the orientation was over to express her.
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